Programming...
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.