Sri Lankan

Jenny was so tired trying to do it all, but one evening, she arrived home from
work to find the children fed, bathed, & doing homework, one load of clothes in
the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set.

She was astonished -- something was up.

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who worked full-time
and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.

"We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their
homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the
evening."

"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that was perfect too. Ralph was too tired..."

How to Impress a Woman

• Compliment her
  
• Cuddle her
  
• Kiss her
  
• Caress her
  
• Love her
  
• Stroke her
  
• Tease her
  
• Comfort her
  
• Protect her
  
• Hug her
  
• Hold her
  
• Dine her
  
• Listen to her
  
• Care for her
  
• Stand by her
  
• Support her
  
• Go to the ends of the earth for her
  

How to Impress a Man

• Show up naked
  
• Bring beer
  

Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing a large suite on
the top of a 75-story skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in
their hotel were broken & they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get
to their room.

Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can
sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest
of the way."

At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to sing. At the 51st
floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell sad stories.

"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!