One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.
The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The Husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he
whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
God one day decided he ought to check in with Adam to see how things were going.
"Adam....How are things going?"
Adam replies that he considers himself quite fortunate to be living in such a
beautiful and peaceful place but he did have a couple of questions to ask, if
the Lord didn't mind, of course.
"No problem," said the Lord, "Ask away"
"Well Lord, I was wondering why you made Eve so beautiful? Not that I'm
complaining, mind you."
"Adam, I made Eve so beautiful so that you would like her."
"Oh, well yes, I do like her very much. Thank you Lord. You made her so
beautiful, but why is it then that you made her so stupid?"
"Well Adam, I had to make sure she liked you too!"
A brand new lady of the evening had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
"Well, he was a big muscular and handsome sailor." she said.
"Well, what did he want to do?" they all asked. She replied, "I told him that a
straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much. So I told him that
oral would be $75, but he didn't have that much either."
"Finally I said, well how much do you have? The sailor said that he only had
$25. So I told him for $25 all I can do is service you by hand."
"He agreed and after getting the finance straight, he pulled it out and I put
one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand
above the second hand."
"Oh my god!" they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge. Then what did you do?"
"I loaned him $75!" she said.
