Help from the Medicine Man

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He
finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So
the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white
powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies, "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That
night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123."

Suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie he has ever had, just as the medicine
man had promised. His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"

Knowing when to Pull the Plug

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her "Just so
you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

Lawyer at the Gates

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven,
and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you."

"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I
have to die now?"

"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.

"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I
can show you my birth certificate."

"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few
minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you *are* 82. I checked
all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."

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