Sri Lankan

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with
horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an
especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress
worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim." If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife.

"What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

Little Johnny had not studied for his life science exam.

The teacher in the one room school house was giving an oral exam.

"What are the four main advantages of breast milk?" she asked.

"No need to boil." called one student.

"And another?" the teacher questioned.

"It never goes sour." said another child.

"Correct." said the teacher.

"It is available whenever is necessary." called out another.

"Johnny." she asked. "Do you have the last answer?"

"Sure," he said. "It is available in attractive containers of varying sizes."

He got an "A".

Ahmed was a high ranking official in King Akbar's court. He had one
long-standing wish - to suck the Queen's voluptuous breasts to his heart's
desire. Every time he passed the Queen he got frustrated.

One day, he revealed his desire to the King's chief adviser, Birbal, and begged
him to do something about it. Birbal, after much thought, agreed on the
condition that, afterward, Ahmed would have to pay Birbal 1,000 gold coins for
arranging things. Ahmed agreed.

The next day Birbal prepared a high voltage itching lotion and poured it into
the Queen's bra which she had left out while she was taking a bath. Soon the
itching started and grew in intensity, much to the King's anxiety.

Consultations with doctors and Birbal revealed that only a special saliva, if
applied for four hours, would cure it. Birbal also added that such a saliva was
only to be found in Ahmed's mouth.

King Akbar summoned Ahmed, and for the next four hours Ahmed violently sucked the Queen's breasts. Licking,biting, pressing, playing, he got what he always desired. Satisfied, he returned and met Birbal, but since his mission was over and his lust satisfied, he refused to pay Birbal anything, and in fact he shooed him away.

Ahmed, of course knew that Birbal could never report this matter to the King.
But Ahmed had underestimated Birbal. Next day, Birbal duly put the same itching lotion in King Akbar's underwear. Ahmed was again called by the King